Adventure Travel 101 – Useful Travel Rules

So you want to travel, see the world, experience exotic cultures and places with minimum of expenses and mistakes. Well you’re in luck. The following is a valuable guide to worldwide travel including my exhaustive list of do’s and don’t which I call my “Travel Rules”.
First off you have to be mentally prepared to prepare for a major trip. That’s right the preparation is the hardest part. You have to face all those concerns, fears, and reasons that have always stopped you from doing everything else in life you always wanted to do. Concerns like Uncertainty (I’m not sure where to stay, or how to get there, when to go, etc.). Concerns like I won’t have enough Money, how do I get enough Time off work, or what about my Stuff at home (house, car, pets, kids, etc.). You’ll also have to face criticism from all those relatives and friends who will ask stupid questions, which of course you have no idea how to answer. Questions like:
Why are you doing this trip?
How can you just up and go?
What do you bring for five months on the road?
How can you afford it?
Where will you stay?
Aren’t you afraid of Terrorists?

So cheat and use some of my answers or make-up your own. Remember this is adventure; no one really cares about the truth.

My Answers to Common Questions:
Why am I doing this trip? Make up a good emotional or spiritual growth story. Something like: “It all began with my approaching mid-life crisis. I promised myself I would do Bali for my 40th birthday. But I had to do other stuff with friends and relatives for the last two years instead. But still a promise is a promise. So SE Asia here I come.”
How can I just up and go? What do I bring for five months on the road? How can I afford it? Ok, well I’m in between jobs now and I’ve arranged my life to do my retirement as I go. So without debt or children to care for I can travel when I’m able and willing. All my travel belongings fit inside an internal frame backpack with zipper-attached daypack and a small gym bag. Normally everything would fit in the pack and the gym bag is my “overflow bag”. The overflow bag is doubling as a laptop/ valuables carry bag on this trip. As far as my budget goes, previous experience shows it costs about the same to travel as it does to stay home. A reasonable minimum figure is about $20 per day for SE Asia. I’ll splurge a bit most days so my realistic budget is $30 per day. These figures include airfare averaged out over the duration of the trip. [Of course, I’m not actively working so the cost does not include lost wages. Don’t tell them this.]

Where will you stay? Hey, that’s what guidebooks are for. Want a cheap place in some city you’ve never been to? Forget the Internet. Get a Lonely Planet guide book for that country and you’ll have your selection of guest houses to choose from with details of the price, beds, bathroom, view, lobby, service, attached reastraunt, bar next door, address, phone, fax, and reading room book selection.

Aren’t you afraid of Terrorists? Ok, fear of Terrorists is the latest “in thing” to fear; or maybe its SARS, or bird flu, or dirty public toilets. Hey those things can all get you right there in Podunk, USA. Unless you’re planning to travel as an undercover agent for the CIA its unlikely you will be heading into known terrorist hangouts. Contrary to mistaken American opinion most of the rest of the world is safer than USA big cities such as NY, Miami, or Los Angeles. Violence to tourists is much, much lower in SE Asia and many foreign countries. I have always felt a lot safer in the back streets of Bangkok than the back streets of New York, or LA.
Travel Rules
Ok so your all set to go. You’ve navigated through all the concerns and preparations and ready to buy your ticket around the world. Great! Shopping for tickets brings you to Travel Rules #1 and 6. When shall I go? And where to get best airfare?
Travel Rule #1 states, “go when you can”. This is the most important and most used Travel Rule. Do it now, don’t wait tell later. This applies both to planning your trip and going to the restroom. You never know when you’ll find another opportunity or available public toilet.
Travel Rule #6 states, “buy the cheapest tickets as you go”. Thus if going around the world it is better to buy cheap one-way to Bangkok, then get onward tickets from there to Bali, Nepal, Europe, back to USA. Your trip may take longer than the validity period of the cheapest tickets, and prices for onward tickets are usually less in undeveloped countries.

So you’ve arrived on some nice tropical island and want to find a place to stay and place to eat. This brings us to Travel Rules # 11 and #22. Travel Rule #11 states “when deciding between places to stay look for Grass Roofs, views, and quiet”. It is useful to combine this with Travel Rule #22, which states “when deciding between places to eat avoid places recommended by Englishmen and favor places selected by Germans”. These are rather obvious rules. Grass roofs are cooler and less expensive, views and quiet are more satisfying. It’s also easier to sleep if there is not an all night Karaoke next to your room. Unless you are English, it is unlikely what Englishmen think of as “good food” will either fill you or you’ll think is tasty. An example of a “Good English breakfast” is something like a piece of white bread toast and plain tea. Compare this to a “Good German breakfast” which is more like 3 eggs, 3 sausages, 3 pieces ham, 3 tropical fruits, piece of smoked marlin, banana pancake, piece of carrot cake, 2 pumpernickel bread toasts with mango jam, banana milk shake, and a large coffee with cream and sugar. Of course if you want to maintain that low intake diet then go with the English.

So you want to see the local sights. This brings us to Travel Rule # 34 which states “never join a group tour when you can do it yourself”. In general, doing it yourself is a better value, more enjoyable, more satisfying, and better way to meet locals. In a tour you’ll meet only other tourists, have limited time, a fixed itinerary, and use private transport. It is also a higher security risk, as group tours are very noticeable and predictable targets for both criminals and terrorists. Plus you gain confidence and meet locals as you learn to arrange your own public bus, public boat, local meals, and real entrance fees. “Khow Tourd Crap” means, "how much?" in polite Thai. You’ll likely get a pretty smile, a 10-cent bus ticket, and satisfaction of connecting with a local.

Time to meet that romantic someone special or at least get laid? This brings us to Travel Rules # 42, 46, and 48. Travel Rule 42 states “British are great for good conversation but not good romance”, and Travel Rule 46 states “East mixes best with West”. Then Travel Rule 48 states, “Latin American babes are hot and they know it but Asian babes are beautiful inside and out”. And of course you should save any marriage proposals for your 2nd, 3rd or maybe 20th return trip.
Speaking of women and onward travel brings us to Travel Rule #50, which warns “never base your travel plans on some woman you just met”. I have missed many a good spot or lost valuable time (and usually money too) by moving on too fast from a great locale or missing a great onward travel opportunity because of my infatuation with a new hot babe. There was the time in Townville, Australia when I passed-up the opportunity to get paid to crew on a luxury sailboat all along the great barrier reef to Bali, Maldives, Seychelles, Red Sea, Mediterranean, to Spain and France. All for a cute Dutch blonde with green eyes. Then she runs off to work on a shrimping boat leaving me alone, boatless, and disappointed.
Well the trip is almost over and you are thinking what to bring back as souvenirs. Well Travel Rules # 126 and 129 simplifies your life here. Travel Rule #126 advises to take advantage of goods and services that are bargains and useful to YOU. These include fashion clothes, spare eyeglasses, teeth cleaning, medicines, doctor visits. Travel Rule #128 simplifies your shopping by advising don’t buy any souvenirs except what people specifically asked for. People will just chuck your hand carved wooden elephant or colorful batik shirt into the back of some closet. Your treasured gifts will disappear in the next garage sale or to the Salvation Army.

The fact is that no one will appreciate your trip except you. When you return home you still will be faced with the same critical anti-travel environment that you left.
Your home, family, work, country’s economy, and TV programming are all geared toward you staying and living the normal predictable stable home life.

But you will know. You will remember those magical moments. That rainbow stretching between two islands on your Ferry ride in Togian Islands, Indonesia; the primeval fear of the Tiger charging while you ride your elephant in Bardia National Park, Nepal; the painful bliss of a 2 hour Thai Massage on the beach in Koh Samui, Thailand; reflected moonlight and fishermen’s lanterns in the shallow lagoon of Lombongan Island, Bali; the violent giant wooden cart festival in Baktapur, Nepal; the smiling face and yellow dress of the banana vendor in Anni-ni-y, Philippines; dancing all night on the beach at the full-moon party of Kho Phangan, Thailand; the vivid colors of the Orchid Garden in Singapore; the new tastes of inexpensive foods at the night market in Kota Bahru, Malaysia; stimulating snorkeling with two topless Swedish babes at Tioman Island, Malaysia; peaceful tropical island view from your outrigger canoe in the lagoon of Cook Islands; and the perfect sunset over the fringing reef at Bora Bora.

You will remember those few weeks or months when you knew Freedom.
And always keep in-mind, Travel Rule #1, “go when you can”.

James Edward Rascon is the Mad Traveler. In 1986 he arrived in Indonesia; during his first day the ferry he was riding caught fire. In 1987 he arrived in Cambodia; soon civil war broke out. In January 2001 he arrived in Philippines; a few days later mass protests forced the president out of office. Coincidence? You decide.